Steve v5.0

Archive for the ‘Go Steve Go’ Category

Look at the top of the column on the right. Now look back. Look at the title of this entry. Now look back. Look at the picture of my last meal. Look back.

Thirty days left until my next birthday (which is a big deal for me goal-wise) and here I am at my favorite Indian restaurant for their awesome lunch buffet, practicing a crapload of self restraint and possibly my last helping of Chicken Marsala. In the past, I would have walked out after eating my weight in tandoori chicken nearly incapacitated by belly-bulge and self-loathing.

Not today. Today I’m pumped, jazzed, and laser beam focused on making these next thirty days the balls-to-the-walls-iest effort to normalcy that I can muster. The next month will be a lot more focused, energetic, and (hopefully) awesome.

Rock on.

 

Only forty days left. Wow.

If there was a time I ever felt the crunch of a self-imposed and looming deadline, I’ll bet it felt a lot like this. Already I’m scouting the horizon for a cheat, a sure thing that will shed me of all the weight I should have incrementally lost by now, and I’m not finding it. Then it occurred to me. Some famous guy fasted for forty days and avoided temptation– hey, I could do that. The thing is, I don’t think it turned out all that well for him. Perhaps there’s a way more in line with my personality and fear of crucifixion.

And there is…

I just have to micromanage my consumption. Monitor everything– keep an accurate journal. Doing that (and making sure I don’t pig-out) will insure that I’m eating right, and right now, that is my most effective opportunity for improvement.

Fatsecret.com, I’ve got some juicy stuff to tell, just between us.

Rock on.

 

Sometimes I procrastinate, and sometimes I just put procrastination off until the very last minute.

Wow, that sounded so much more intelligent in my head. Stupid head.

Anyway, the days are winding down to my next birthday. It’s a little weird for me, getting all melancholic while still having a ton of stuff to do between now and then. I’ve been fairly diligent in monitoring my intake and fairly consistent in regard to exercise.

I still go to the gym six mornings each week and still ride my bike in going to and from. I meander a little on the return trip, I guess to justify the ride– and the weather has been crappy enough to enhance my grit and determination. Some mornings the weather is so bad that I’m almost angry by the time I get there and work through it on the weights. The only thing the weather can dissuade me from is running the bleachers– the last time, the upper deck was so wet I hydroplaned more than once.

Rock on.

 

I admire the crap out of people who can go to the gym for an hour or two and crank out a thousand calorie deficit several days a week. It amazes me from afar. Mostly because I’m the  intellectual/emotional equivalent of a giant newborn freshly kicked off a turnip truck, or one of those short-term amnesiacs who wake up each morning with no recollection of prior experiences. Everything is new and wondrous- my naiveté makes it so.

Anyhow and truth be told, I can’t think of a thing I would do for more than thirty minutes straight. I mean, name something totally awesome– some euphorically awesome activity that I may or may not have heard of and I’ll repeat it back to you and state emphatically that I wouldn’t want to do it for more than 30 minutes in a row. Not a thing. My attention span is capped at 30 minutes. Ding goes that bell and I’m off to do something else.

The way I look at it is– given my short attention span, for me to stick to something and repeat it every day, it’s got to be focused (like a laser beam), deliberate (objective-oriented), effective (we’ll see), and less than thirty minutes in duration (absolutely). Keeping my workouts to that time-length has kept me coming back, day-after-day, for the past 1,421 days. I haven’t gotten bored or disgusted with it yet.

Rock on.

 

Image by ktpupp via Flickr

Today finds me semi-inspired. I’ve got 57 days of shedding to do and I’m making what feels like a fairly good attempt at it. Now, when I say “attempt” what I’m really saying is that I am focusing on what has worked in the past and doggedly sticking to it. I have a goal, a schedule, and a crap-ton of attitude and focus to carry me through to completion. Happy ending?  I intend to deserve one. We…shall…see.

My formula is fairly simple– exercise ~30 minutes daily + consume less + move more = a thinner, more fit me (aka super happy fun time).

That’s the thing.  I mean, I could chase after some quick-fix diet plan voodoo cure and maybe even achieve some level of short-lived success with it.  Hmm, maybe? It could happen, right? Those Xeni-cal-i-whatsis-dopa-hydroxy-whatever commercial shows some awesome tubby-to-terrific transformations. I’m sure it could work for me- even though results are not typical. After all, I’m not a typical guy. My truth is (and this is only for me because I’m the guy I know best) that what works long term (for me) is doing the same thing that has worked for me in the past while chasing rainbows and smoke-up-my-skirt-wonder-cures yo-yo’s me all hither-thither.

Every hard-shelled veteran of competition knows that steady wins the race.

Rock on.

Related articles

• The power of tenacity (goodenuf2publish.wordpress.com)

 

Steve v4.9 will become obsolete and discarded by Steve v5.0 in just two measly months from today.  Yikes! It’s later than time to start kicking some seriously larger than it should be ass and make some serious progress towards reaching my goal of losing 190 pounds by by my next birthday.  Time to (ooh, a squirrel!) focus and take massive action.

Goals are awesome, magical things that somehow (I mean through focus and effort) are responsible for most if not all of the cool things in my life.  Not that there is an overabundance of cool things (I should have made that one of my goals) in my life, but what there is that is recognizable and noteworthy, if only to me, is the result of setting a goal, deciding to take action, focusing on that goal while taking action, adjusting my actions as necessary, and doing the “do” to get what I wanted.

Such will be the summation of my focus and activity for the next two months.

Rock on.

 

Day 1476 is d-day and the realization of the sheer enormity of it all is hitting me hella-hard. So much so, that I’m really having an “off” day. Do I want to talk about it? Not really, but how about a little chronology to bore my own socks off?

04:30 Alarm goes off – I ignore it, wife shuts it off.
05:00 Alarm goes off – I shut it off but don’t move much beyond that.
05:15 Work out alarm goes off – this alarm is part of my CardioTrainer phone app. It tells me I should be on my way to the gym. I’m late.
05:36 Head to the gym. My headphones are acting wonky and are distracting me with random beeps and volume changes.
05:45 Approach my usual spot at the cardio machines and discover that the staff has replaced the elliptical machine with a stair-stepping machine. I’m a little put-off by this.
05:46 Discover that the movie (Monsters) I was going to watch on my Droid somehow doesn’t show up in my movie player. Opt for Watchmen instead and climb on the machine.
05:50 Discover that this new machine doesn’t have a remote switch for the fan. I need air! Climb down to squeeze between machine and wall to turn on fan- accidentally kick out machine’s cord in the process.
05:52 Back on the machine, fan is blowing, and I am climbing. Bluetooth headphones decide it’s time to start calling random contacts. Places three calls- two of which I catch and stop before the callee answers. Third is my wife.
06:25 I’m “done” with the stair-stepper and my wonky headphones. I get off the machine and watch my Droid fall off and hit the floor– between machine and wall (i’m too big and non-bendy for this, but I manage to retrieve it). Off to the weight benches!
06:30 Sit down at the bench press (in front of mirrored wall) and notice that one of my teeth appears to be missing. Discover that it is just black bean skin. Realize that I’ve talked to several people and did a lot of smiling.
06:40 Shift my lifting direction mid-lift and nearly pull the entire machine over on it’s side. Dramatic bang and big eyes all around. Time to go.
06:45 Three close calls on the street as drivers neglect to realize that, despite my size and multiple flashing lights, I am an obstacle rather than a target. May start riding on the sidewalk.
06:47 Make it home unscathed. Began dropping nearly every object (vitamins, cups, etc.) I picked up. Multitasking my grip is not gravity resistant. Somehow made my smoothie and things have been just freakin’ ducky ever since.

Crappy morning aside, I’ve since had several sparks and a near-ignition of get-it-moving attitude adjustment and overall moxie. Hell, there was even a little determination bubbling to the surface.

Today’s smoothie: 1/2 Banana, 1/2 Clementine, 1C Blueberries, 1S EAS Protein, Water (290 kcal)

Rock on.

 

Numbers can pretty much describe anything and everything. I know that my weight loss escapade has been going on for 1,329 days, how much weight I’ve lost since starting, how much more I need to lose before 6/6/11, and how old I’ll be on that day (and why so hush-hush about it? Oh, behave! in due time, Steve– you impetuous arse!). Numbers can also be a trap if they are the sole focus, the be-all, end-all to our endeavors.

Take weight loss. Is it all about numbers in terms of pounds and inches? I say it just may be– but only to a point. One could, conceivably, make the dial on the scale bounce all over the place through systematic dehydration and bingeing & purging. And that same “one” could compress away the inches with a couple pair of spanx– but, for what? Just the numbers? Chasing numbers is a little short-sighted.

Still, dropping a few pounds and cinching up the belt another inch or so feels pretty good. Hell, losing over one hundred is like walking on air. The thing is, lasting, positive change is in the process, not the result. It’s in the equation, the formula and its’ implementation over time. It’s doing the do, time and time again… forever.

I do get caught up in numbers– specifically 3, 21, 27. Those close to me know their significance and are mildly weirded out by it. Weirding people out is part of my charm, and believing that makes everything seem oh-so-rosy.

Rock on. Do the do.

Today’s smoothie:

1C Spinach
1S EAS Chocolate Premium Protein
1T Ground Flax
1C Frozen Blueberries
1/2 Banana

 

Who’d a thunk it? Here I am alive and well in the 21st century, realizing a future one could have only imagined way back in the olden days. Yes sir, jet packs and seven-course meals-in-a-pill — science fiction-science fact. Everyone is fit and thin and oh-so good-looking. Whoa! Back that spaceship up and read the signs again (and check the mirror, Steve. You’re looking kind of awdaben this morning).

The thing is, not all that much has changed– at least in the realm of me losing my gut and working towards a better, more fit future. I still believe that there is nothing beyond my time-proven “simple equation of yore” that is going to help me lose/maintain proper weight. It remains that simple– which reminds me of something: the rut.

If you’re a hunter of big game animals, the rut is a good time to be hunting. During the time of the rut, males of whatever particular species you’re after seem to throw caution to the wind and worry less about hunters and more about where the females are hanging out. It gets all Discovery Channel out there in the woods as Mother Nature works her magic to replenish the fauna. Whew! Is it getting hot in here? Enough dirty talk.

My “rut” is characterized by a hell of a lot less hanky-panky and not surprisingly, fewer fauna. Mine is the kind of rut characterized by a less than enthusiastic trudge to the gym, a going-through-the-motions workout, and culminates in the longest-of-sighs when I return home before slipping into my next activity, or should I say “rut”. Ahem. It occurs to me that life can turn into a series of ruts- kind of like the grooves on a record (those things that old-timers used to spin music out of– ask your grandma).

One of my goals this month is to create new and more exciting ruts. No, not really– what I mean is that I intend to shake things up a bit and implement more ways to improve myself– maybe even go a little “Discovery Channel”.

Rock on.

 

As the year draws to a close, it dawns on me that I just may have wasted an entire year. So much opportunity, so many options– all wasted. So yup, I’m spending New Year’s Eve much as I spend my birthdays; curled up in the fetal position in the back of my closet– eating my feelings and sobbing uncontrollably.

Par-tay!

Truthfully, this past year has been like so many others; a linear parade of events and non-events that has shaped my life. Nothing truly outrageous happened, at least nothing comes to mind right now, and I guess that is just the way much of life is; stuff just happens. I endure and forget. The thing is, I feel like I may be missing out on something that I can’t quite put my finger on, something that is just out of reach– escaping me. What could I be missing? What could it be that I’m lacking? Oh wait a sec, maybe it’s the “living” part of life.

Steve v4.6 was a miserable bastard. He languished in an uncomfortable husk that made movement difficult and furniture disposable. It sucked to be him- so much so that that I now speak of him in hushed tones and in third-person. Something the guy had tons of (besides adipose) though, was motivation and more importantly, determination. That guy was a weight loss term-i-shedder, the Schwarzenegger of working his ass almost completely off. That guy dropped pounds like a… um… pound-dropper; like it was his job and Christmas bonus depended on it. That dude got results. Steve v’s 4.7 and 4.8 were shadows of 4.6 and indicators of lagging determination. Those dudes were a couple of tools, but they were lighter and more energetic tools.

The thing is, I’ve grown somewhat complacent over the course of the past year and that is something I flat-out just cannot be. Sure, I’ve lost some weight, but I could stand to lose a hell of a lot more. So wake up Steve v4.6, Steve v4.95 needs his ass kicked into gear. He… scratch that… I need… scratch that… I will lose weight and reach my goal before lapsing into Steve v5.0 (coming in June, 2011).

Determi-freakin’-nation, that’s my mantra.

Rock on.