Health and Fitness
I’m rarely one to bitch about anything, least of all the asinine doings, sayings, and goings-on of others. I really don’t care what level of stupidity the collective “they” aspire to nor does it even register anywhere on my mental radar.
Just kidding.
Everything registers! I pay close attention to every morsel of stimuli that thuds my receptors. The thing is, it isn’t the others I am paying attention to– it’s me. I’m such a shlump mouth-breather by comparison to the rest of the population that I can only look in as opposed to looking out. Kudos to the collective on being handsome geniuses, one and all!
Moving on…
A benefit of our health insurance is an annual health screening, the purpose of which is to determine how uninsurable I am. Turns out, I’m still fairly healthy in the statistical sense and therefore our premiums are completely acceptable. Moreover, I’ve little more than an annual relationship (knock on wood) with my doctor thus far and most likely will die at my leisure– or perhaps in some horrific orgasm-induced jet ski accident (I haven’t decided yet).
An additional benefit of our policy is the use of a Health Coach– a nice enough lady who I’m sure means well, but is also a kindly sycophant who agrees with every contrived and obtuse thing I say and laughs at all my jokes (even when I’m intentionally unfunnier than my normal unfunny). She does an awesome job of sticking to a script- for which I can totally imagine the reasons for- liability, conformity, and simplicity.
An additional tic to her credit is that she has a wealth of information backing her in the form of a fairly comprehensive website. This leaves me to surmise that her prime directive is part cheerleader, and part website tour guide. She is pleasant, supportive, and knows her links. I appreciate what I’m guessing is her function, but don’t think I’m getting much more than a bi-weekly verbal pat on the back for every unintelligible grunt emanating from my gob. I confess that I’m unworthy of her time.
The cool thing is that I’ve been diligent with most everything that has worked for me in the past and I am showing progress. I’ve been monitoring my blood pressure and weight with OCD tenacity. So far I’m down 8 pounds since my health screening and I’ve consistently kept track of my intake and exercise. I continue to alternate between the gym, track, and bleachers throughout the week and all has been pretty beneficial.
Result: I feel energetic and like I’m the master of my domain, king of my castle. Bonus: my mom thinks I’m special.
Rock on.
Tags: bitch, blood pressure, health coach, insurance, weight loss | 
1 Comment »
While I’m not in any way into diet pills, I am fairly consistent in increasing the value of my urine through the ingestion of a multitude of vitamins. Recently, I started taking a “mature” vitamin tablet designed to address the peculiarities associated with my having crawled the earth for so long. I’ve added this to my morning regimen of fish oil and aspirin.
Do they make a difference? With cold and flue season upon us, I hope so. The second-to-last thing I need is to get sick. Illness totally mucks up my day. Want to know what the “last thing” is? Just ask.
Regardless, my urine has never been so gloriously amber.
Rock on (for the holidays, especially).
Via: Canada Drug Center
Twenty-three days left and I’m sweating bullets. No, not literally. I’m just back from the gym and I’m literally sweating some mixture of water, salts, and anxiety– my own special par-fume du stank cocktail of hopes, dreams, and massive action that signifies my verve and dedication to literally (yes, there’s that word again) working the bulk of my ass off, my gut off, my love handles off, etc (or, at the very least, reducing their girth).
Massive action is kind of a short-term thing with me and not all that desirable. I consider myself more long-haul than flash-in-the-pan. I’ve said it many times over the past few years (starting circa Steve v4.6) that I wasn’t into the quick fix and that whatever path I took/take was to be one I could/would/will maintain long-term. As far as physical activity goes, I think I’ve stayed true. Food-wise… not so much.
What have I learned? More than I knew.
I learned that for me, calorie consumption is the largest factor in determining how much weight I lose, maintain, or gain. I have been religiously (can I get an ah-man?) consistent with my workouts (similar things/duration). There were a couple of periods since Steve v4.6 (the past 3+ years) that I stopped woking out– a couple of times lasted about 2 weeks, during which I didn’t exercise at all. The weird/unexpected thing was that, after returning to the gym and weighing in, I discovered that I really hadn’t gained much, if any, weight during the preceding period of inactivity. Conversely, there were a couple of times when I was working out regularly but went on an eating binge and gained weight immediately. It seems that, for me, my weight is most immediately affected by food quantity and more specifically, carbohydrate quantity.
Short story; missing a week of the gym is not as bad as eating pizza three days in a row (FOR ME, your results may vary).
Rock on.
Tags: calories, carbohydrates, Exercise, food, gym | 3 Comments »
I admire the crap out of people who can go to the gym for an hour or two and crank out a thousand calorie deficit several days a week. It amazes me from afar. Mostly because I’m the intellectual/emotional equivalent of a giant newborn freshly kicked off a turnip truck, or one of those short-term amnesiacs who wake up each morning with no recollection of prior experiences. Everything is new and wondrous- my naiveté makes it so.
Anyhow and truth be told, I can’t think of a thing I would do for more than thirty minutes straight. I mean, name something totally awesome– some euphorically awesome activity that I may or may not have heard of and I’ll repeat it back to you and state emphatically that I wouldn’t want to do it for more than 30 minutes in a row. Not a thing. My attention span is capped at 30 minutes. Ding goes that bell and I’m off to do something else.
The way I look at it is– given my short attention span, for me to stick to something and repeat it every day, it’s got to be focused (like a laser beam), deliberate (objective-oriented), effective (we’ll see), and less than thirty minutes in duration (absolutely). Keeping my workouts to that time-length has kept me coming back, day-after-day, for the past 1,421 days. I haven’t gotten bored or disgusted with it yet.
Rock on.
Tags: Attention span, Exercise, Special Steve | No Comments »
The last couple of weeks have been more sedentary the usual. I’ve been in the midst of recovering from what I’m remembering as “spring fever”. It’s kind of weird, but it seems I come down with something each and every year right about this time– last year it was food poisoning, the year before, the flu. I’ll bet that if I really think about it, I could probably come up with a memory of annual malaise right on back to the time when spring break maladies were more the result of excess than anything else (I’m thinking college daze).
Anyway, I’m feeling much better today and celebrated at the gym this morning. It was a celebration of solitude and grunting– which is arguably the best kind there is. Downside- weakness; upside- it’s temporary.
I toasted my return to the gym with today’s smoothie, which consisted of: 1S EAS Protein, 1/2 Banana, 1C Frozen Blueberries, 1/2 Frozen Pineapple Chunks, Water
Rock on.
Wow.
The last several days have kind of sucked. You want to know how bad? I wrote a song about it and it goes a little something like this…
I’m-a coughing all night, na-na-na-na-na
No end in sight, na-na-na-na-na
Got a raspy cartoon voice, na-na-na-na-na
Feeling icky aye-yight, na-na-na-na-na
Well, head-cold fo-sho, na-na-na-na-na
Ya know that is my blight, na-na-na-na-na
The only bright side, na-na-na-na-na
Is loss of appetite, na-na-na-na-na
And so forth, na-na-na-na-na…
Kind of a bluesy little diddy, but considering the way I feel, more than appropriate. Head-colds are like that.
Lookin’ for a remedy, na-na-na-na-na
Fo’ mah malady, na-na-na-na-na
Cough-cough-cough, na-na-na-na-na
Cough-cough-cough, na-na-na-na-na
I’m sure this will wrap soon. Til then…
Rock on.
Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Princesses and ghosts and pirates, oh my! Snickers and Reeses and Kit Kats, oh, hell yeah!
Halloween has come and gone. The bad/awesome part of it is that we still have a lot of candy. It seems I over-bought during my last-minute trip to Costco the other day. My anxiety over having no candy- and risking a barrage of tricks sans treats from an angry hoard of children effectively impulsed me to buy way too much and now I find myself passing a chock-full candy cauldron whenever I walk through our entryway.
Scariest costumes this halloween: temptation and gluttony.
I guess it’s kind of weird to cower here in my little office in fear of gluttony. Those “fun-size” chocolaty morsels in their appealing little wrappers mock me– nay, they beckon. Mmm- chocolate… Just a taste… A bite… and…
I’m over it. I used to think that temptation wasn’t a real thing, that people just made conscious choices between options based on emotion tempered by logic and experience. Now I just think I’m stupid. Temptation may indeed be a real thing but I choose not to believe in it. Acknowledging temptation would only lead me to believe that I am not in control of my life, rather that some other entity (e.g. satan, Hershey, or big pharma) is making me do things against my will. That the attractiveness of the ruin they’ve laid in my path is more powerful than my ability to resist it.
To that I say, “Pish-posh!” — which I think was the same as saying, “Eff-you!” back in the ’20′s or something. Ah, nostalgia– I don’t understand it. Regardless, “The______ made me do it!” is not in my repertoire. Even if I knew I could get the copyright to that saying from Flip Wilson, or had a “repertoire” (I hear both are rather expensive).
Anyway, the key for me is this; I make an effort to just keep on walking by that cauldron of candy without stopping to snack, and even if I don’t it will be completely by exercising my own free will. I am in charge of me, and I’ve charged myself with the challenge of losing weight.
Rock on.
Today’s Smoothie: 1/2 Banana, 1S EAS Protein, 1/2S B&W Chia Seeds, 1C Spinach, 1/2C Blueberries
Tags: Candy, holidays, Smoothie, weight loss | No Comments »
131 lbs. lost
and I still have a ways to go!
No Diet Plans
No Pills
No Exercise Classes
No Surgery
Just Sensible Eating
and Exercise
MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods
