Steve v4.9

My (just like 110% of everyone else’s) mother was a veggie pusher. It started with the mashed stuff in the little jars and gateway’d to bigger and less tasty whole varieties. There was a time when I wrinkled my nose at brussels sprouts and broccoli (which I called “balls” and “trees”– street names are silly) and just said “No!” (emphasis added). Now I’m totally into them, addicted you might say. Without them I just don’t feel regular.

Today’s Smoothie: Veg-a-Blech. This one had better be good for me.

1S EAS Protein Chocolate Flavor
1S Ground Flax
1/3C Frozen Blueberries
1/2C Frozen Mango Chunks
1 Large Carrot
4 Large Broccoli Florets
1S Crystal Light Strawberry Kiwi
1/4C Oatmeal
Water

Created by Oatmeal

I didn’t always enjoy going to the gym as much as I do now. Once upon a time, my wife and I decided we would get rid of our family room furniture and replace it with exercise equipment– and we spent a year watching TV from cushions placed on various treadmills and universal machines. Good times– but no fairytale ending.

Our home gym was always available, convenient, and clean– and ultimately unused. Well, that’s not completely true. We used it for furniture and a place to stage the laundry. After about a year, it decorated Craigslist for a few hours before leaving our home. My wife and I abandoned them for other places to exercise; she started running with a group of ladies, and I went to the gym.

There is something to be said about traveling outside the house to exercise for an hour and then commute back. It adds a layer of responsibility and requires discipline. At first, it seemed like a waste of money.

I’ve since changed my mind.

Rock on.

I still hold fast to the idea that weight loss is based on a simple equation: Calories Consumed – Calories Burned / 3500 = Change. The more negative the number, the better– so long as I am eating a nutritiously balanced diet and not completely starving myself. It is an idea that has worked pretty well for me and something that makes sense without a whole bunch of magic mumbo jumbo, chemicals, surgery, or someone screaming in my face.

It is also an idea confirmed during a segment of one of the podcasts I listen to while making my sweaty circuit around the track and bleachers. None other than The Skeptics’ Guide To The Universe– a thoroughly enjoyable auditory indulgence that confirms and articulates many of my views on a lot of things- and in general, gets my old pumpkin stirred up with thoughts and junk. It rocks.

Anyhoo, during this particular episode they discussed an article written by one of the hosts. He (Steven Novella) wrote an article entitled “Meat and Weight Control” for the Science-Based Medicine blog which I found to be quite compelling. The gist: it isn’t so much what but HOW MUCH (calorie-wise) I eat and the combination of portion control and regular exercise is the only REAL way to lose weight.

Rock on.

P.S. I used frozen mango chunks rather than frozen blueberries in this morning’s smoothie. Good stuff. (292 KCals, 28.26g Protein, 40.69g Carbs, 2.12g Fat)

1S 100% Whey Protein (chocolate flavored)
2 Dried Plums
1C Frozen Mango Chunks
1S Crystal Light Pure Fitness Strawberry Kiwi
1C Baby Spinach (fresh)
Water

self-es·teem -noun
1. a realistic respect for or a favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.
2. an inordinately or exaggeratedly favorable impression of oneself.
-Dictionary.com

I sit at my desk, a steaming pile of everybody I ever met. Or rather, the internalization of my perception of everyone I’ve paid any attention to prior to this very moment.

Each and every person within my realm of awareness has had some impact on my life and has shaped it from its’ amorphous, play-doh beginning to its’ slightly less amorphous current mud-pile representation. Paying attention to positive attributes in people has left positive impressions while the more negative attributes have left… well… dents. Whether the net result of impressions to dents remains positive has yet to be decided. I guess it depends on those I will pay attention to in the future. Still, I am a man of my own making. Whatever I am is my own fault.

Here’s the thing: I just don’t know.

“Self-esteem” is a weird concept for me. I’m an old guy so I think I missed the whole self-esteem thing that seems to be so crucial and paramount in my children’s school. Everything is geared to improve my children’s self esteem, to make them and all their classmates “feel good about themselves“. Their grading system has changed– again. I remember getting A’s, B’s, C’s, and (on rare occasions) D’s, and F’s on my report cards. It was EASY to see when and where I was doing well and in which subjects I needed improvement. My report cards were just that– a card with two columns: subject and grade. When I got good grades I felt good and motivated to continue getting good grades. When I got bad grades, I felt bad– but determined to get better grades. I knew where I was and where I wanted to be.

My kids’ “Grade Reports” are multiple-pages long and use inconsistent adjectives and acronyms to represent their “progress towards proficiency”. Encouraging my kids and reinforcing what they’re taught in school becomes kind of a crapshoot thanks to ambiguous, nonsensical verbosity designed to bolster self-esteem and prevent bad feelings. While at teacher-parent conferences, the only way to tell if one of my kids needed help or was doing poorly was if the teacher led with, “Your child is such a joy to have in class.” Conversely, doing well was expressed by saying, “Your child compliments the TAG program.” It’s a little bewildering, so over time I would just key in to “joy” and “TAG” and encourage accordingly.

Back to me…

I have no self-esteem. When people ask, “Hey Steve, how are you?” I really don’t have an honest answer. I know it’s a polite rhetorical and all, but sometimes I think I’m missing something.

What I do know is whether or not I’m on track to reach my goals. I do know whether or not and how much I exercised today. I know how much I ate. I know whether or not I’ve done the things I’m committed to doing in most aspects of my existence. Because how I “feel” at any particular time is based largely on whether or not I’m doing the things I’m committed to doing– right now, I’m getting better. For those other times, I’m getting better. How do I feel about myself? I don’t.

Rock on.