Wow, what a lame title.  I guess I was going for some kind of Wonder Twins schtick, it being two weeks since I whacked myself upside the head and all.  OK, best not to dwell on that for too long.  Wonder Twins.  Geez!

Moving on…

I’m well into my third week of being a fat-burning machine.  Time at the gym has been consistent and beneficial and I’ve been pretty good about my daily intake of food.  I never really thought I liked this whole healthy way of life thing as much as I do.  Cool thing is that it works for me and is sustainable.  Cruddy thing is that stopping reverses the positive effects. *** I’m focusing on what works, is enjoyable, and sustainable ***

I haven’t been posting my “weight-lost” next to the day in my blog postings recently.  I guess the blunt trauma at the hands of the bicep-curl machine a little while back pressed the ol’ reset button in my noggin or something.  The thing is, I haven’t weighed myself since Day 930 and geez, It could be anything.  I plan to start posting that again on Day 1000 — I figure that by then I should be fully back into my routine and better able to process whatever damage I did during my vacation/exer-coma/lapse in judgement/slackfest/debauchery-a-rama/hiatus.  My goal is still to lose a total of 198lbs. before my next birthday (started with Steve v4.6).

My trip to the gym this morning was, well, a frenetically frantic frenzy (a.k.a. “f’d up”).  I had decided that I would get there and do my workout before the weight training class (the one I used to call “pose and gossip”) arrived.  They start at 6am on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I figured I could get in a good half-hour before them and avoid a couple of days of paranoia/OCD-induced anxiety each week during which I imagine they neglect to clean the machines after using them and I spend a good amount of time cleaning to avoid grunting through someone else’s b.o.-tagging. I mean, once was freakin’ enough.  The last time (ugh!), I cleaned and cleaned, did my workout, cleaned the machines again, then imagined it was actually me who left the stench (which was re-freakin’-markable stench-wise), and then made my wife sniff-test me to confirm that it wasn’t (I double-blind tested her just to be sure– sorry, dear), and was sufficiently stanked-out to motivate myself to go pre-emptive.

Anyway, it was a frantic dash to the gym this morning.  The bike ride was aerobic enough to make everything at the gym a panting frenzy during which I was able to get in my usual station-rotation– and a respectable amount of cleaning.

Rock on.

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Tags: clean, pee-ew!, sweat, weight loss, Wonder Twins

I was back at the gym this morning and feeling pretty good.  It was as comfortable as an old pair of jeans- like the pair I plan to get back into as soon as possible. Turns out I lost a little- and thankfully, only a little, strength during the course of my absence.  The cool thing is that outlining a goal like “Bench as much as I did 3 months ago” takes almost zero thought.  I’ve been there before and determination is pretty much all I need to get there.

Tags: Attitude, don't be a wuss, gym

THWOK!!!  That’s me hitting myself upside the head… with my PANTS!  That’s right, my pants.

I don’t know about anyone else (especially since this weight loss blog is all about me) but, I’ve come to discover that I’m a creature of ritual and habit.  I do stuff.  I do it over and over.  I do it even when it’s the wrong thing to do- eat too much, for example.  I repeat mistakes.  I repeat stuff unconsciously, without thinking.  I do it all the time.  Just ask my wife.

The cool thing is that I repeat good stuff too.  The stuff that helps me and those around me, stuff that improves my life.  That’s where I should focus.  The thing is, focus tends to blur a little.  It’s the occasional whack upside the head that helps bring things into focus– freakin’ laser-beam focus.

Sundays mean church for my family.  It’s usually a suit-up and make a mad dash out the door type of affair followed by what seems like hours on my butt in a pew.  I got to admit, it’s never been my cup o’ tea.  The thing is, that’s what we do.  So, I’m all suited-up and making my way around the house (shutting off lights, kenneling the dog, checking the doors, etc.) when I did something… else.  Something that wasn’t part of the routine.  Something that changed my entire day.  A thing that, in its’ innocence and banality changed everything.  Something that tore the very fabric of my existence and laid waist (intended, wait for it) and whacked me upside the noggin so thoroughly, so completely, and with such reverberation that I articulated a vulgarity so coarse as to embarrass even my dog.  That… that… I… (breathe, Steve- you can do this. OK.  Shit-together in 3…2…)

I bent over and tore the crotch out of my suit-pants.

It changed EVERYTHING.  I had to rummage around (unsuccessfully) for another pair of suitable pants, my family ultimately went on to church without me (ok, not all changes are unpleasant and honestly, I couldn’t go to church crotchless, could I?), and I had to stumble upon a discovery.  The discovery that I had gained back some weight.  That realization, physically, felt like a combination bone-chill and hot-flash that completely brought things into focus.

My focus: LOSE WEIGHT STARTING RIGHT NOW

OK.  So I missed church.  I mean what I really missed was pewing-it with my family.  That’s a bad thing that I’m sure I going to hear about when they get home.  My apology is in the oven.  Here’s the good thing about what I did while they were gone (aside from starting dinner), I got on my bike and went to the gym.  I paid penance pushing iron for missing family pew time due to pants problems.

I’ve been whacked and now I’m back at the gym.  That’s a good thing; it’s been a while and I believe it’s a good habit to maintain.  I’ll head back to the pew next week.

Rock on.

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Tags: Attitude, church, determination, kick ass, pants, weight loss, whack upside the head